is your mom at the bar?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
