New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
