My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
