i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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