SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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