She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
