we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
even my farts smell like vagina
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
