Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
