Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
