she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
