oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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