im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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