Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
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What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
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I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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