I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
