I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
This house was built for laser tag.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
