I love black thongs
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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