i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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