Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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