every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize