Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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