D3 body, D1 cock
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I came so hard my ears popped.
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