dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
