new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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