Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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