I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
