I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
