just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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