Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He better not be in your backpack
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
