We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
