You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
