i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
