i would punch a child for taco bell
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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