Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The convent might be a nice break from real life
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
