let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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