So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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