singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
