I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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