so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
