grandma shit on top of the toilet
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
