He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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