Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Found your dick twin last night
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
