Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
