He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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