Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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