you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
it's like iHOP with fire
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
