Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
