I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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