Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
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So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
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Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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