hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
