Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
