wakey wakey hands off snakey
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
