i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
