I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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