Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Randomize
